We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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