My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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