Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My pussy is not your playground.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
