well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
