she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
