why didn't you poke me back
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
