So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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