I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize