the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
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