I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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