wat bout pragnant strippers??
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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