allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize