Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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