Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Boobs are out for the taking
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
