Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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