I wannas sexs uuuuu
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
we should paint friendship bongs
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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