i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
