So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
