So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
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Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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