Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
