I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?