And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
