Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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