you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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