It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
