I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
