My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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