from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
