and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
