Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize