Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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