maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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