holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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