I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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