If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
