I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
