nut hugger
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
