i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
