The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Ketchup is God's man juice
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
