your room smells of hookers.
And success
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
