ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
