If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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