Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
