good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
