one might say we're banned from that church
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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