Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
be right there i have to get my cape
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
