I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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