I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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