her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
