Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
