i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
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after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
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I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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