ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
