If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
