just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
