i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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