Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
