yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
