her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
