The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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