I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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