You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
