you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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