it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
