8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
