i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
