It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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